am i ALRIGHT????

have been blog hopping and was seeing a few ppl facing sum spiritual problem and was soul checking myself..
wow, i cant believe that i am facing a spiritual breakdown...n i am seriously sad n disappointed with myself..
i am so blinded n kept on falling out from Him...how cud i?? or how did i??
why am i so caught up with all the things that i want for myself n not wat i can give to Him??
why am i so selfish??? He gave His ALL to me, cnt i gv my ALL to Him???
is it so hard?? but if there is a will, there is a way rite..
why am i always depending on my own strength?? am i doubting Him???
i feel so empty now...jz dry... wat is hindering me?? wats blocking me from the relationship with Him??? how cud i run so far away??
am i so caught up with my current position?? am i not trusting Him??
i cant believe that its hurting so much deep within...truly the truth is revealed...
have been wearing a mask since dnt knw when...hw cud i bare to hurt my saviour's heart...
its always smiles that is put on front but din i knw that i am sinking deep within..
how cud i not be checking me spiritual side?? why am i slacking???
so much questions but there is just one SOLUTION...
i just wanna leave the past n thk God i realize this problem today which is CNY eve...
n i wanna turn back to God fully..nt trusting on my own strength but upon Him...
i want MORE of HIM n LESS of ME...
i wanna wait at His feet...giving ALL to Him..recommiting everything..
nothings gonna stop me...n i truly wanna have His heart beat n be in His thoughts n plans..
nothings gonna hinder me..n i am standing firm on His principles...holdin on to Him n never letting go..
just need a fresh touch..a new wine skin n new wine to fill me..
JUST TRUSTING IN YOU!!!
HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!