living with the problem n i hate it!!! argh...

i constantly ask myself...why must this happen?? why me??
this is kind of a personal problem i am facing even before SPM...n i hav been living with it since then till now..
i cant believe sumthing that is kinda small cud even kill a frenship..
i dont even knw where i go wrong or what did i do...
i am seriously confused n the unwillingness of the other party to talk to me just wasnt the solution..
i prayed like crazy for God to set me free from this problem but i just dsnt seem to work that way..
i shared this problem to me sis and me close frens actually and they too dnt understand the situation and neither did i..
i am so blurr sumtimes..n to be honest this thing is seriously hurting from the inside...
all these while we had been best buddies ever since like form 2 and all the moments we had been thru just went down the drain last year...wat the man!!!
ITS SO NOT WORTH IT!!!!!

i have been asking myself...gladys, wat have u done!!??..
n i have been review-ing the entire situation over n over again and yet i dnt knw how this frenship ended n why it ended...
having to live with this problem is so hard..
what do i do when i see this person again like in the shopping mall or wherever..
just avoid the person or act dnt knw that u saw her or say hi..
wat wud the person respond???
it seems that u have been avoiding me but i dnt mind if u do that...but i really do mind coz u were once me buddie n it really hurts to see sumone hate me...its so saddening T.T
i said sorry but its up to u nw whether u wanna patch up this relationship...i hav the situation on a string n the option is up to u nw...

i knw i aint a good fren and well thanks for tolerating me n understanding me..
well, i might even hurt u at times when i dnt even knw i did...n i am really really SORRY..
i might be too caught up with myself n too careless to not worry bout wat others feel..
but i am still a fren in d making..so pls do forgive me... i aint perfect yet.. am still in the making..
it took me so long to say sorry and thats becoz i was looking thru what i did wrong..
n yea, i was too judgemental...i wanted to see who is rite n who is not.. n that wasnt a wise move..
i aint anyone of us to judge who is wrong n who is not ..oni God can do that..

to all me frens out there...if i had hurt u in a way or another...PLS FORGIVE ME!!!
i am so so so so sorry...really appreciate all tolerance n love u ppl have shown me...
this is what i learned to be.. i am learnong from u ppl n u ppl are me teacher..who teaches me how to be a fren.. n truly now, i wanna put all the things i have learned into practise..
i am nw a fren-in-practise...still being moulded into a true fren..
i just wanna start anew...

well, its gonna be a new year..n i dnt wanna bring this problem to d new year.. i am gonna just let go n see waht happenes.. hopefully, everything turns out all rite..
just pls continue to pray for me.. n i hope to reconcile :)