God Is Writing My Life Story...

Sunday, January 25, 2009

am i ALRIGHT????

have been blog hopping and was seeing a few ppl facing sum spiritual problem and was soul checking myself..
wow, i cant believe that i am facing a spiritual breakdown...n i am seriously sad n disappointed with myself..
i am so blinded n kept on falling out from Him...how cud i?? or how did i??
why am i so caught up with all the things that i want for myself n not wat i can give to Him??
why am i so selfish??? He gave His ALL to me, cnt i gv my ALL to Him???
is it so hard?? but if there is a will, there is a way rite..
why am i always depending on my own strength?? am i doubting Him???
i feel so empty now...jz dry... wat is hindering me?? wats blocking me from the relationship with Him??? how cud i run so far away??
am i so caught up with my current position?? am i not trusting Him??
i cant believe that its hurting so much deep within...truly the truth is revealed...
have been wearing a mask since dnt knw when...hw cud i bare to hurt my saviour's heart...
its always smiles that is put on front but din i knw that i am sinking deep within..
how cud i not be checking me spiritual side?? why am i slacking???
so much questions but there is just one SOLUTION...
i just wanna leave the past n thk God i realize this problem today which is CNY eve...
n i wanna turn back to God fully..nt trusting on my own strength but upon Him...
i want MORE of HIM n LESS of ME...
i wanna wait at His feet...giving ALL to Him..recommiting everything..
nothings gonna stop me...n i truly wanna have His heart beat n be in His thoughts n plans..
nothings gonna hinder me..n i am standing firm on His principles...holdin on to Him n never letting go..
just need a fresh touch..a new wine skin n new wine to fill me..

Saturday, January 24, 2009


wohoo!!! have good news for u ppl la..haha
well, i kinda reconciled with me fren :)
God just make it happen la.. thk God for everything...
thru this problem that i hv been facing, truly i learned alot of things n realized lots of other stuff as well..haha..
hopefully i can be changed n transformed into a better person according to God's will n time...haha..

hmmm, another good news is that i am gonna be rich in another 2 more days!!!!
wohoo!!! since i have been a real good gurl i shud get more ang pows rite...agree with me...*perasan-ing* wakaka
besides, i have been broke ever since like....EVER!!!! argh =.=
so ppl, pls be kind to this young n kuai girl..
n cash in a cheque into me bank account...much money is needed..n much of ur kindness is appreciated...hahaha

wat else ar??? oh yea, me uncle, aunty n cousins from KL are sleeping over me place..
shud i rejoice or jz b normal??? i dnt knw...haha
hopefully wud have fun la...hehe..
n hopefully me uncle wnt ask me bout me future..
coz i cant read the future or even see it...haha..
its all in God's hands..hehe :)

well, since i aint gonna online till next week..
wud just wanna wish all me peeps
May God bless u with a happy n prosperous new year ahead...
let us not look back at the past but look forward to d future which is in God's hands...
let us not look at wats happening in d world but just fix our eyes upon our author n perfector of our faith, Jesus Christ.
On Christ the solid rock we stand, all other ground is sinking sand!!!!
May we grow stronger n deeper in the Lord this new year..

Thursday, January 22, 2009

living with the problem n i hate it!!! argh...

i constantly ask myself...why must this happen?? why me??
this is kind of a personal problem i am facing even before SPM...n i hav been living with it since then till now..
i cant believe sumthing that is kinda small cud even kill a frenship..
i dont even knw where i go wrong or what did i do...
i am seriously confused n the unwillingness of the other party to talk to me just wasnt the solution..
i prayed like crazy for God to set me free from this problem but i just dsnt seem to work that way..
i shared this problem to me sis and me close frens actually and they too dnt understand the situation and neither did i..
i am so blurr sumtimes..n to be honest this thing is seriously hurting from the inside...
all these while we had been best buddies ever since like form 2 and all the moments we had been thru just went down the drain last year...wat the man!!!

i have been asking myself...gladys, wat have u done!!??..
n i have been review-ing the entire situation over n over again and yet i dnt knw how this frenship ended n why it ended...
having to live with this problem is so hard..
what do i do when i see this person again like in the shopping mall or wherever..
just avoid the person or act dnt knw that u saw her or say hi..
wat wud the person respond???
it seems that u have been avoiding me but i dnt mind if u do that...but i really do mind coz u were once me buddie n it really hurts to see sumone hate me...its so saddening T.T
i said sorry but its up to u nw whether u wanna patch up this relationship...i hav the situation on a string n the option is up to u nw...

i knw i aint a good fren and well thanks for tolerating me n understanding me..
well, i might even hurt u at times when i dnt even knw i did...n i am really really SORRY..
i might be too caught up with myself n too careless to not worry bout wat others feel..
but i am still a fren in d making..so pls do forgive me... i aint perfect yet.. am still in the making..
it took me so long to say sorry and thats becoz i was looking thru what i did wrong..
n yea, i was too judgemental...i wanted to see who is rite n who is not.. n that wasnt a wise move..
i aint anyone of us to judge who is wrong n who is not ..oni God can do that..

to all me frens out there...if i had hurt u in a way or another...PLS FORGIVE ME!!!
i am so so so so sorry...really appreciate all tolerance n love u ppl have shown me...
this is what i learned to be.. i am learnong from u ppl n u ppl are me teacher..who teaches me how to be a fren.. n truly now, i wanna put all the things i have learned into practise..
i am nw a fren-in-practise...still being moulded into a true fren..
i just wanna start anew...

well, its gonna be a new year..n i dnt wanna bring this problem to d new year.. i am gonna just let go n see waht happenes.. hopefully, everything turns out all rite..
just pls continue to pray for me.. n i hope to reconcile :)

Thursday, January 15, 2009

L is for LEMBU

haha...L is for lelaki oso...L is for Lame too..
hmm, but today me aint gonna talk bout lelaki or lame but i shall speak of LEMBUs...wakaka
its about me getting me lisence to kill every road user soon...nyek nyek >.<
well, yesterday i went to gembira parade to take me undang test...
n guess wat...i PASSED!!! wohoo...so u ppl pls be prepared coz gladys wud b on the road very soon...muahaha =.=
be on the road without a car...hehe. unless u wanna buy me a car la, then i wud thank u like crazy..hehe
hmm, actually i very young already can drive ad...
i drove the plastic car when i was 5 yrs old n i can drive daytona since form3 lidat...
so holiau rite...i knw wan...wakaka

ooo, n its the 15th...
May God bless u in ur future undertakings n in everything that u do!!!
muaxx muaxx...Luv ya :)

Monday, January 12, 2009


haiyo...so sien la nowadays...
so miss me pals n school...can u believe it!!!i MISS SCHOOL =.=
i tot school shudnt be missed but now i miss it...haiz..
i am currently missing me frens n me skool teachers..haha..
unbelievable rite...but believe it..
hmmm, so wat am i doin now???
---i am blogging
---doin sumthing that dsnt require brain work
in conclusion: i am MULTI-TASKING...wakaka
its super sien that i dnt even knw wat to do..
the holidays are seriously boring n i dnt knw wat to do..
hmmm, i said 'i dnt knw wat to do' twice so it means its SUPER TAK ADA STUFF TO DO!!!!!

another thing i noticed... i aint that lame anymore compared to last time...
haiz..must b becoz i am growing old d...
but is being lame a good thing or a bad thing???
this is a question for all u readers la har...n its not the lame as in cant walk but the lame as in stupiak lame...haha =.=

hmm, newest update...I AM SICK!!!! tak tahan the stupiak disease/virus which invaded me throat...haiz..
why must ppl get sick anyways...
hmmm, in my line of professionalism...i shall invent an antibiotic which is transferrable thru the air that cud cure n iluminate all diseases...n ppl will start thanking me..
except for the students n workers who will definately mock me like crazy...
due to the fact that they wudnt b able to take sick leaves n MC becoz there wont b any sickness...
doctors will start losing their jobs...
i on the other hand wud lose me job n being hunt down by ppl... this is fairly becoz if i were to invent such antibiotics, i wud be in the same line as a doctor and therefore i wud b jobless...n i wud be kiled n hunted down by all the ppl who disapproves of the antibiotics...
hmm, wat if my antibiotics mutated into sum form of deadly virus which is air-borne...
then i wud hav a job to do...which is to find an antivirus...but ppl wud still hunt me down for i created a medicine to kill...nt to cure...
hmm, actually the last sentence was based on the book i am currently sticking me eyes at la...
but the few sentences before that are me own creation ok...see, i got good imagination...muahaha..

anyways, thanks to meL's lame sentence on me chatbox...i finally know that i ominated the world thru me lame-ness...ppl who are beside, behind and infront of me are infected with this lame virus...and all of a sudden everyone will become lame n i will out of the blue become less lame n start to rule the earth...muahahahahaha...such genious-ness no one can have wan..wat a master plan..
dominating the word sounds so NOT like me...i think plankton from spongebob squarepants has taken over me brain with that hi-tech device of his...hahaha =.="
its a plan yet to be fulfilled and its a secret plan...rmbr not to tell anyone for i trust u thats why i tell u..
what am i doin...where can blog a secret wan, lidat the whole world ma noe d la...

haiz...this is the result of ppl who are facing boredom...n i am one good example of how boredom can affect ur mind...it has affected me in a preety good or can be said bad way...haha
there is surely alot of 'boredom' in this post...
so, stay tuned for more results on how boredom affect me brain :)
adios amigos berambus *poof*

Tuesday, January 6, 2009


its certainly a crossroad ahead of me now....i am so bad with planning n i suck :(
what shud i do next??? that question is like stuck in me head my entire 1 1/2months of holidays...not a peaceful holiday with that question lingering around...haih..
work??form6??college???NS??? all these are kinda me problem...
i hav been planning to shift me NS forward to the second batch but it starts in march...if it starts in march, i wudnt be able to work..coz i doubt any company wud hire sumone who will be working for 1 month only...
if i dont shift me NS to second batch, after college i still have to go for it...
if i dont shift me NS to second batch, i wud be the eldest there coz after college baru go..
if i dont shift me NS to second batch, i wudnt be able to go for it this year and get over with it...
if i dont shift me NS to second batch, i wudnt be able to work n dnt gt to collect money..
if i dont shift me NS to second batch, i may not go NS anymore coz maybe in another few years NS akan dibubarkan...haha
talking bout work now, if i work...i hav to gt morning or afternoon shifts coz no transport home if work till 12midnite...
and i cnt work on Sundays n Saturdays...haihz...n those are the days that have heavy traffic of shopaholics n customers...
and i dnt knw where to work n lots of companies no vacancy ad :(

form 6 or college????
i dnt knw wat course to choose if i go college!!!!!!argh...ish-ness, tak tahan!!!!
i really wud love to be in mass comm under PR but some say that i can do better than mass comm...coz i am in science stream and some advice me to take sumthing concerning science...haih..wat course then???? i dont knw, dnt ask me....argh...
and as i enquire from TAR college, fees might not be a problem coz its kinda cheap...but the courses provided are kinda little lo...
form 6...i oso dnt knw which stream to masuk..haih..
and form 6 is hard...why must it be hard!!!!
hmmm, one thing bout form 6 is that it is free..
if i dnt get 4 credits for stpm, i wudnt be able to enter local uni and i wud hav to waste money applying for a private uni...hmph :O
its always so sickening and saddening to be in a dilemma like that and to be an indecisive person...thats who i am personally on the inside...argh!!! why must i be indecisive...ish-ness..


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